We all know that President Obama is trying to do his very best. Frankly, that’s what has everyone so worried, because the country is going to Hell even faster than former Actual President Dick Cheney.
If you’re like most debt-ridden Americans, you’re sweating out the possibility of losing your job. Let’s just see whether or not that’s likely to happen …
Top 10 Signs You’re in Danger of Losing Your Job:
+ Your mileage allowance is just enough to make it home.
+ Whenever you make a mistake, you’re given a good old-fashioned flogging.
+ You’re the only receptionist with an obscene tattoo covering her entire face.
+ You’ve been reassigned to the visitor’s parking lot.
+ You can only use the rest room if you’ve already soiled yourself.
+ You’re the only employee who gets paid with traveler’s checks.
+ Your company meal plan only includes antacids.
+ Instead of vaccinating you against the swine flu, you’re locked in a utility closet.
+ Your desk is flanked by a wise old padre and a guy from security holding a cardboard box.
+ The boss casually mentions that you’re eligible for grief counseling.
The constant concern about losing your job is enough to make you sick. Which could leave you at the mercy of a hastily hatched healthcare insurance plan … maybe even the dreaded “public option.”
Top 10 Signs You Have the Public Option Healthcare Plan:
+ Your primary care provider is a student nurse.
+ Your hospital bed is being circled by undertakers.
+ Your only guaranteed benefits are a blindfold and an unfiltered cigarette.
+ You were taken off the waiting list for oxygen, because your plan only gives 12.6% of the people in your age group a fighting chance to survive.
+ Life and death decisions about your care are being made by the Obama girls.
+ Your best chance to get employer-paid health insurance is to land a job on one of Sarah Palin’s “death panels.”
+ Your former physician is working as a waitress in a Federal soup kitchen.
+ You can only envy members of Congress, whose special healthcare plan covers therapeutic lap dances.
+ You exhausted your drug coverage the first time you dunked your donut.
+ Unless Congress levies additional taxes on everyone living below the poverty line, the Obama healthcare plan will go belly up by 2010.
